Fuck It Friday: Let’s Talk About Cake Baby.

Today, we’re talking about cake, specifically making a cake. I’ve gotten the reputation of baker and dessert maker in my family. I remember the first thing I ever baked for a family get together. I had to be like, ten years old. It was Thanksgiving and I was in charge of the apple pie. At that point in time, it was a big mistake. This was probably the worst apple pie on the face of the friggin planet. I knew the recipe called for zested lemons or something and at the time, I knew what zest was but didn’t have a zester. So, my stupid self put in GIANT chunks of peel in it. And for some reason I recall there being grosser stuff in it like cranberries or something. I’m not sure, I just know that it was horrific.

I’d like to think that those days are far behind me much like my Scene Phase. I’ve become a better baker with a zester, thank you very much. Since then, I’ve moved on to legitimate pies (good ones…I hope), panna cotta, those disgusting meringue cookies, waffle cakes, and those really cool looking crepe cakes that are the biggest pain in the ass. And honestly, all of this is surprising because I HATE BAKING. I loathe it. But like a good mom (I’m not really a mom), I do it because people like it and I like making people happy (plus it’s easier to bring dessert. All good people like dessert).

Anyway, being that Easter’s around the corner (maybe?), I wanted to do a test run of a copy

Probably the last time I enjoyed birthday cake.

cat cake recipe to make sure that not only it’s doable but that it was worth it. Now, I should also let you know that I don’t really like cake. Well, that’s sort of a lie. I like cake. I don’t like frosting. I’m the type of jackass that will scrape the frosting off just to eat the actual cake. Growing up, I was out of control. My parents let me do whatever the frig I wanted, which included eating frosting out of the container like 4 out of the 7 days of the week. That, paired with this disgusting James and the Peach project in the 5th grade caused me to never like frosting again…or so I thought. I should also mention that I don’t like birthday cake flavored shit. It’s gross. It’s too sweet. It’s literally the stuff of nightmares.

One of my friends had a birthday some time in February and someone brought this cake. It wasn’t just any cake. It was the cake the dreams are made of. When I first saw the cake I was like “Fuck, I’m gunna have to eat this shit to be polite and I’m gunna have to pretend to like it because that’s the weak and bullshit type person I am.”

Boy, was I wrong!

Momofuku Birthday Cake

This cake from Momofuku Milk Bar is honestly one of the only birthday cakes I’ve ever liked. It was so (brace yourself because the next word is gross af) moist and soft. The frosting was not too sweet and there was just the right amount of it. AND, oh my god and, there were these like cookie crumble pieces both in and on it. Like, I’m just in awe of how friggin amazing this cake was. I guess that’s what happens when you spend $50 on a 6 inch (a real six inches too) cake. That shit better be good because do you know what I could buy for $50?! I could get 10 or 11 4 for $4 deals at Wendy’s or 9 or 10 $5 boxes from Popeyes and as delicious as this cake was, I’d much rather have that. 

This cake is way more than my broke ass can afford and my family expects fresh baked goods from me. So, to remedy that, I’ll exchange some of that price for a lot of my time and sanity by making a copy cat recipe The recipe was pretty easy to follow. You make a cake. You make a milk soak (which is the actual key to the cake). You make the crumbs. You make the frosting. Then assemble all that shit and freeze for like 12 hours. Thaw for three. So, if you wanna try the recipe you should do it like the day before you want it because it’s gunna take a while.


Real Cake vs My Cake


Honestly, it wasn’t that hard to make. My only recommendation is that you double or even triple the frosting recipe, which the blogger who initially posted says. I figured I didn’t need to since it was only a test cake but now I know for next time. That, and I would use a lot more of the milk bath. The cake was a little dry (i.e I got caught up watching Catfish and left the cake in for too long. My bad). This is why testing recipes are important. Also, I don’t think it’s necessary to have the ring mold and acetate paper. I did just fine with a springform pan, like for cheesecake. Instead of using it to cut through the cake like the recipe says, just use the bottom plate part to cut out the circle pieces of cake.

My Cake

This cake was just as bomb as the one from the store. I mean, it wasn’t exactly the same, but for a fraction of the price, I’m satisfied. I can’t wait to use this method for other cakes (fingers cross that they work just as well because oh my god could you imagine a cannoli one of these? Or a nice rainbow cookie version? Ugh, yaaaas please).

That’s it for this week’s Fuck It Friday. Have a good weekend!



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